I’ve been photographing proposals for a long time, and it’s probably my favorite thing that I do.

99% of the time, I’d say that my client’s priorities are in the right place. In my opinion, that means…

• They want to make their partner happy. They want to show how much they love them.
• They want nice photos, but care even more about their real experience in the moment.

What do I consider to be bad priorities? Welllllll…..Trying to impress other people, caring more about the decorations than about their proposal, and treating their vendors poorly in the process.

This is my opinion based on planning and photographing 400+ proposals. Don’t come for me.

Alright, that’s the last time I’m going to apologize. The rest of the blog post is an unapologetic list of my honest advice.

Here’s the list…

Your proposal is only the beginning. Your wedding is probably a much bigger deal.

Guys: If you see the proposal as “your thing” and the wedding as “her thing”, that’s a problem. No wonder you’re putting so much pressure on yourself. Plan to be involved in wedding planning too.

If you’re not sure if your partner will say yes, you probably shouldn’t propose. At least, not yet. Have some conversations first. Do some self reflection.

Don’t plan to propose in the summer in Texas if you’re going to complain constantly about being hot and sweating. It’s going to be over 100°, guaranteed.

But also… Don’t delay your proposal for months or years, waiting for the perfect conditions; perfect weather, the perfect venue to become available, your friend’s schedule to open up so they can fly in. You’re delaying your marriage and your life.

Your proposal is not a photo shoot. It’s better if you focus on candid photos of your proposal, plus a few “posed” photos afterwards. We don’t need an hour long engagement photo session immediately after. No one wants that.

Seriously, just chill.

Popular tourist locations are going to be crowded at sunset on a weekend. It’s guaranteed. If you don’t want people around, you need to propose somewhere else.

If you’re not sure what type of proposal your partner would like, just ask them. At least get a feeling for their expectations.

Same thing with the ring. If you’re choosing a ring completely by yourself, you need some guidelines first.

You don’t need to spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on decorations in order to make your proposal great. What are you going to do with 500 roses afterward? Where are you going to put 200 candles?

Again… calm down.

Your proposal doesn’t need to be a complete surprise. Some people don’t care about that at all. Ask yourself if you and your partner prefer it to be a surprise. Or better yet, have a conversation with them about it.

Consider your proposal when planning your overall budget. The ring is not necessarily the only cost. If you definitely want a photographer, a private venue, and decorations, those expenses should be considered from the start. 

Someone else should plan your after party. Not you. That’s a perfect job for your mom or sibling. You don’t need more on your to-do list. And that way, the party can be thrown for BOTH of you. You’re a guest, not a host.

Your partner might not have a huge, emotional reaction to your proposal. If that’s not their personality, don’t expect that. You never know exactly how someone will react, so don’t have too many specific expectations.

Over the years, the most stress I have seen has come from not knowing whether their proposal will make their partner happy. That’s not something I can solve as your photographer. That’s about knowing your partner and having conversations with them about expectations. That knowledge can only come from you. (And maybe from asking their best friend)