A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog called How to be an Amazing Bridesmaid or Groomsman. It guides wedding party members on how to act, what’s expected of them, and why they’re super important to the whole wedding. Now it’s time to turn the tables and give brides & grooms tools to lead their wedding party!

This blog is for YOU if…

• You’re nervous about combining your friend groups
• You don’t know how to communicate information and delegate tasks to your wedding party
• You’re secretly a lillllllll worried about the maturity and reliability of a few people (ahemm groomsmen)

Let’s do this! ⬇️

1. Choose the Right Group

Your wedding party members should be YOUR PEOPLE. They’re your best friends who you couldn’t imagine not standing beside you while you get married.

I won’t tell you how many people to choose. That’s that’s totally up to you. But if you find yourself with a list of 18 girls, and deciding whether to include your cousin’s friend from college, you’ll want to narrow that list down. 😂Trust me. Each person means two more helping hands, but also the potential for more stress.

If you’re worried about two people not getting along (I mean REALLY fighting), don’t include them.

If you’re worried about someone’s feelings getting hurt by not being included, consider giving them another role to play, like being an usher.

2. Communicate Clearly: Create a Facebook Group or Event

Ok, you have your people! 🥳Now what?

Y’all, it’s time for my favorite part of this whole post! If you remember nothing else but implement this tip, you’ll still be better off.

Create a Wedding Party Facebook Group. Not a group chat over text, a Facebook Group. Here’s why:

• You’ll be able to include everyone, not just people with a certain type of phone.
• People can check the group for updates when they have the time to intentionally respond, not just the moment they receive a text.
• You can group topics together in posts, and keywords are easily searchable.
• You’ll have no doubt that everyone has ALL of the information.
• People can easily friend each other on Facebook and get to know each other.
• It will help you avoid the tendency to talk about your wedding 24/7. Leave the wedding talk (mostly) inside the Facebook Group.

These things may seem nit-picky, but when you’ve been planning for 8 months, and you have 11 vendors + 25 spreadsheets + 3 to-do lists + 65 email chains + 4 separate group texts… you’ll want to simplify EVERYTHING possible.

A step-by-step guide to creating your Wedding Party Facebook Group:

1. Create the group, and invite all wedding party members.
2. In the group description, explain the purpose of the group and what’s appropriate to post in it. Explain that it will be the primary form of contact between the wedding party.
3. Ask everyone to post an introduction of themselves, including their contact information. Ask your BM and MOH to go first in order to set expectations.
4. Share wedding planning updates to keep everyone in the loop and help them feel connected to the process. For example: “We booked our venue today!” or “We just took our engagement photos, and we want to show you the previews!”
5. Ask for their help with things like choosing a wedding hashtag.
6. Once you get closer to your wedding day, use the Facebook Group to distribute important information like dates, addresses, timelines, and contact information. More on this later.
7. One week before your wedding, use the Facebook Group to set up a group video call. (If everyone’s not available at the same time, have the same call twice.) Talk through the timeline, mention the most important locations and times, and set expectations clearly.

Seriously… make a Facebook Group! Especially if you have a large wedding party!

3. Help them get to know each other

As the bride & groom, you’re the mutual friend to everyone. It’s your job to initiate connection between your bridesmaids & groomsmen who don’t know each other.

Events that could help everyone get to know each other:

• Organize a casual lunch or party for everyone who lives nearby
• Invite your bridesmaids to try on dresses together
• Invite them to watch you try on wedding dresses
• Invite them to a bridal shower. (They don’t even have to organize it. It could be organized by a family member.)
• A bachelor/ bachelorette party
• Your rehearsal and rehearsal dinner

4. Set Expectations + Set a Budget

Don’t leave your wedding party guessing, especially when it comes to their own budgets. Little expenses add up quickly, so keep track of how much they’re actually spending.

Will the bridesmaids pay for their own dresses? Should they do their own hair and makeup? Will the groomsmen need to rent shoes that match?

Do you want to have a bachelorette party? Do you want to have a bridal shower? Do you expect them to pay for it?

They’ll probably be happy with whatever you decide to do, as long as you respect their budgets and give them enough time to plan ahead.

If you have the feeling some of your wedding party members don’t know what they’re supposed to be doing, point them in the direction of this blog  👉 How to be an Amazing Bridesmaid or Groomsman >

5. Say Thank You

While it’s an honor for them to be included in your group, they’ve also agreed to spend their own time and money on your wedding.

Show them that you appreciate the sacrifices they’re making. Be flexible with dates, and remember that they might have busy schedules. Give them choices when possible. Make sure they’re happy and feel included in the group. Say “thank you”. Surprise them with a handwritten card and/or gift at some point along the way.

6. Distribute Information

Brides, give your whole wedding party this information:

• A list of all wedding party names, and parent names, and phone numbers
• A list of everyone’s jobs and description of their roles on your wedding day
• A list of all vendor names and phone numbers
• The addresses of all important locations
• The full timeline. You can even highlight the sections that apply to them.
• A map of the venue and the table layout
• Door passcodes, gate codes, or anything they’ll need to get around

7. Delegate

Your wedding day is finally here. 😍 At this point, don’t worry about sticking to the timeline. Don’t worry about the decorations being perfect. Don’t you worry ’bout a thing 🎶 (Now that will be stuck in your head 😉).

You’ve done the hard work, set everything in motion, and it’s time for you to have FUN! Your wedding party will have fun too, but they’ll also take on extra responsibilities to make sure YOU have an amazing time. Bridesmaids & groomsmen, ya gotta read this if you’re not sure what I’m talking about here.

All small tasks left to be checked off the to-do list should be delegated to anyone other than the bride & groom.

Tasks that can be delegated to your bridesmaids & groomsmen:

• Deliver gifts between the bride & groom
• Fill up their car with decorations and unload it at the venue
• Decorate tables in the reception space
• Remind the bride to drink water and eat snacks
• Solve little problems without bothering the bride & groom

Remember to delegate these tasks before your wedding day.

You made it! I know that was long, but now you know how to lead your wedding party so so so well! If you liked this post or you have a funny story about being in a wedding party, leave me a comment below!

Want more?

How to handle bad weather on your wedding day >

What time to start your ceremony >

Getting awesome wedding photos. The Do’s and Don’ts >