Commons Proposal Fears (That You Really Shouldn’t Worry About!) | Austin Photographer

8/19/22

Proposing can be scary, y’all. But I’ve found that most people aren’t worried about their partner saying “yes”. They’re worried about 1,629,103 other things going wrong. If that’s you, keep reading. ☺️ I’m here to ease those fears.

What if the whole day isn’t perfect from beginning to end?

I’m listing this fear first, because all other fears stem from this. Most people start planning their proposal with dreams of creating a magical, fairytale like experience for their partner. A once-in-a-lifetime day where every minute perfectly prepares them for the happiest moment of their life.

Ummmm….NO PRESSURE.

But seriously, people put so much pressure on themselves to plan something incredible, when in reality, no proposal is perfectly smooth. I promise you. I’ve photographed over 200 proposals, and it’s not uncommon for the couple to have a small fight that morning, to get stuck on the highway behind a wreck, or to be stressed by something completely unrelated.

If something like this happens, don’t panic. You don’t need to throw your plans out the window and propose on a different day. Stick with it. After you finally propose, a huge weight will fall off of BOTH of your shoulders. You’ll both be surreally happy, and anything that happened before simply won’t matter.

What if I forget what I planned to say?

If this happens, it’s totally ok! Chances are, both of you will black out and hardly remember anything from the 10 minutes before, during, and after your proposal. If you freeze up and forget what you planned to say, know that your partner is hardly listening anyway. 😂 They’re listening for one question.

It helps to memorize a few short bullet points or simply speak from the heart instead of trying to remember a long speech. If you want to write down your thoughts and pull out a piece of paper during your proposal, that works too.

What if I drop and lose the ring?

I’ve never once seen this happen. 🙃 Moving on…

What if something about my plan goes wrong?

There will never be a 100% guarantee that nothing will go wrong, but if you make a solid plan and work with professionals (venue, photographer, planner, etc.) along the way, you should be just fine.

Choosing a private location will also reduce the risk that strangers will accidentally interfere with your proposal.

What if the weather is bad?

Again, you can’t guarantee perfect weather, but the weather doesn’t need to be perfect anyway. Your experience and your photos will still be great even if it’s cloudy, hot, or windy.

Avoid the temptation to check your weather apps once an hour for two weeks. Forecasts won’t be accurate until about 24 hours before your proposal. And don’t worry, a 30% chance of rain means it probably won’t rain at all.

If you plan to propose outdoors and there’s a torrential downpour, I’m sure your venue and photographer will be as understanding as possible about pivoting locations or rescheduling.

What if I act weird and they figure it out?

Try to make the day feel as normal as possible. Proposing on a weekday can help with this. If you know yourself, and you’re worried you can’t help but act suspicious, don’t spend much time together earlier in the day.

📊 If you’re someone who wants to know the stats about how proposals usually go… I’ve worked with many people who actually didn’t care whether their proposal was a complete surprise. Some people prioritize a surprise over all else, and others acknowledge that their partner knows it’s coming, and they just embrace it. It’s common to talk with your partner about getting married (of course), and nowadays, many couples actually pick out the ring together.

What if someone else spoils the surprise?

Well, my advice here is to tell as few people as possible. Don’t involve people you can’t trust to not only keep a secret, but to also not act strangely or give it away without realizing it. If possible, wait as long as you can to involve others, so they don’t need to keep a secret for too long.

What if they aren’t impressed by my proposal?

Spend some quality time thinking about your proposal and what would make it meaningful. Is there a location or day that’s significant to your relationship? What small gestures would be special? You know your partner best, so you know if they would likely prefer something simple or elaborate, something private or something with friends and family involved.

I promise that if you put real thought into it, it won’t matter how much money you spent or how many decorations you have. It’s about the two of you. And remember, you’ll start planning a wedding soon, so that’s when money and decorations will really come into play. 😂

I hope this has eased some of your fears! Everyone is a little nervous when they propose. It’s a big deal. But remember to keep your expectations and priorities in check.

If you feel totally lost, working with professional photographer, planner, or venue can help you make the right decisions and feel confident about your plan! I’d love to talk more about your ideas!

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